Whattay (E)ventful Day !!

You think its my fault i feel like shit right now? That i want to sit in a corner and cry my eyes out for no reason at all? That i really want somebody to slap me and say, "what is wrong with you, get a life and stop irritating people around you who care for you so much!"

Birthday in another 4 hours. Guess what i'm not excited. I don't even want my birthday right now. Because for me birthdays are suppose to be fun. Weeks before i start counting days like a mad man. This time its nothing. And somehow i don't like it. There's no reason for me to be this upset. (Apart from the fact that i have nothing to wear, thats another story altogether)

I'm *this* close in shutting myself up somewhere. 

And i know this will piss some people off. Because all they want is my happiness. I want my happiness too (i'm selfish like that), but i cant seem to find my happiness. People don't need a reason to be happy, but right now i want a very solid reason. And no, birthday in 4 hours is not that solid reason for me these days. 

Today even writing is not helping. I can still cry. Raise your voice at me right now and i *will* start crying for sure. 

This mood is making me so irritated. I think i need some help. Some medical help maybe. :|

I knew the weekend would be pathetic. But this pathetic! Never expected. I wish tomorrow is a better day. Not for me, but for the people around me. I don't care about me right now, but the people who really care for me. They don't deserve this. Because they do want me to be happy! 

I still feel like shit!