And I Quit.

With just one click, I Quit.

I'm not trying to run away from anything. I just want to stay away from the drama. I don't like the patient me. Impatient is what i am and that's what i do the best. 

You are the only reason why i quit. But unfortunately, you'll never know. And i will never tell you, because it wont matter to you. 

Dear World, go Screw Yourself. Thank you.

I wish I had someone who could listen to me. 
Someone who understood me.
Someone who loved me for who I am. 
I wish I had Someone ...


My mind is super fucked right now. It can burst any moment. I can burst any moment. 
I dont understand why i let anyone affect me so much! And in the end it all comes down to this word. *affect* Ufff. I'm so tired of this word now. (This word will definitely haunt me one day.) Why can't i be some heartless bitch who doesn't give a damn about anyone. I have realized it's not that hard to be flinty. You just have to be oblivious to the other persons feelings and say whatever you want, and yeah you don't have to think twice before saying anything. Easy isn't it!
Grrrrrrrrrrr ( x infinity)


But i have realized one thing that i shouldn't take out my anger on twitter or for that matter here. I only write when i am fucked up in the head. It's not fair. And i'm sure most of my followers on twitter think that i'm some insane tempestuous woman. Which is not true. I'm mostly happy. Even if i'm alone i'm happy. Like today for example, i was so so so happy in the afternoon. I was happy high. And that is how i am. I am not fake like some people (thank God for that). I'm not all that muaah muaah types also. I'm just me (who is by the way not angry and pissed off all the time). So i should make it a point to write when i'm happy too. And i think i should tweet more often when i'm happy and disappear for a while when i'm pissed. Sounds like a plan to me :D


Since my mind is little less fucked right now, i wanna ask where is my Special Someone (shouting out loud) !!??!! And i'l keep on repeating this question till i find a suitable answer or for that matter a suitable someone :P
Suck on that Bitch! 

Nothingness which turned into Some-thingness.

Today started like any other day. It started with me driving like a maniac in the morning because i was soo late for the morning lecture which never happened. Bleh, isn't it! And then it was a friends birthday. Still the day was normal. No wait, it turned into a mahaepic day! I don't think i have laughed so hard for no reason at all ever! I can't explain what all happened but it was a new experience. An experience which i cannot experience again. An experience which is too addictive, and i don't like getting addicted to things.
Speaking of addictions, i never really got the whole idea of getting addicted to things, especially "that thing". I mean why is that a person is so weak from inside when he decides to quit something. And how do you really know if you are addicted or not. I often find myself wondering what am i addicted to! Maybe i should work on this from now on. "Find out what am i addicted to"
Oh wait, i think i know my addiction. Sleep! Oh yes, i can sleep day in and day out. I know it sounds like a cliche but sleep gives me peace of mind. And i love wasting my time, so what better way than to sleep! I do have people around me who think that i sleep way too much, and that they sometimes feel like slapping me for it. Wtf! Slapping me for sleeping so much! Shammers they are. And guess what i can even sleep with my eyes open. Now slap me for that too! Bleh. 
And I think i'm sleepy again. :D

Leave Me Alone! ... Or Maybe Not!

I like staying alone! When i'm alone i don't have to pretend being happy when i'm actually not. Its much more fun this way. But this obviously doesn't mean that i'm a loner. I'm so not! But sometimes i wish i could just sit in a corner and stare at people without them noticing me. I like judging people, whereas i obviously hate when somebody judges me. I hate being all flamboyant when it comes to socializing. Why can't i ignore everyone around me and just talk to people i really care about or for that matter like. Its actually absurd that when you enter a party or for that matter even your own class, you have to go and meet everyone and be all goody-goody. It seems so phony and unreal. I actually detest people who are all over friendly and amicable. Pretentious asses! 
But then who wants to be alone in this world, isn't it! If my friends leave me alone for 10 mins, i often find myself feeling sad and lonely. And also i don't like when they ignore me (which they obviously don't). I sometimes wish i had more friends and i was invited to more parties. I don't mind the attention you see. :P So basically what i want is Attention, even if i'm getting that from two-three people. No wait, what i really want more than this is to be Center of Somebody's World! Yesss i want that! But unfortunately i don't have that special someone in my life :( Maybe that's why i like being left alone once in a while, so that i could think what it would feel like to be somebody's special someone! *sigh*
Not too much to ask, isn't it! 

.....

I wont become good.
I wont become nice.
I'll be bad, just for him.

Things I Hate.

... I Hate my Life.


I hate the fact i get attached to people very easily. And then i can't let go. I hate how everything they do, good or bad, related to me or not, affects me. I hate when i don't have any control over my emotions, and because of it i fuck up my life pretty bad. 


I hate my mood swings. There's nothing worse than having mood swings 24/7. PMS-ing or not, my mood swings are there with me. One time i'm super excited and smiling for no reason, and the next moment i'm super sad and sulking for no reason. 


I hate the fact that everyone around me is so fucking talented. And i don't even know what i'm good at. Bleh. I cant even write and here i'm doing journalism! 


I hate the fact i have to live in Chandigarh for another 2 years. I wanted to travel. A lot. But i'm stuck here. 


And all of this is making me so sick inside. I have no control. It is making me claustrophobic, and i can't breathe. Here goes another mood swing. Bleh. 


Guess what I Hate You too.