Little bit of me.

I met this very interesting person yesterday. I was a bit skeptical before i was supposed to meet her. But it turned out okay. I guess.

This person told me so much about me that i dint know anybody could figure out without talking to me first (because i'm so twisted and messed up in head). 

So i thought i should maybe list out the things she told me (which are true) in case i forget about those things in future.

1. Strong family values.

2. Best friends are my worst enemies. (TRUE)

3. Very loyal and very emotional.

4. Never show whats killing inside me and just put on a happy face. (so true)

5. Great sex life. (She said it, i swear!)

6. If i'm emotionally attached to someone i'll over look the 100 mistakes that the person has committed and just look at the 1 good thing he/she did. (Again, true. Told you i'm messed up in head)

These are some of the important things that she said. The only reason i'm surprised is i dint even talk to her and she started saying all this on her own. Pretty impressive, right?

22 on 22.

The mandatory post birthday post. Btw the birthday was 4 days back. 

That phase is here when i don't feel like writing but at the same time i want to. 

Birthday was as usual. A year older, but not wiser. Hehe.

Soo much have changed in this past one year. I have experienced soo much that i would like to think it cannot get any better/worse. I also want to learn from my mistakes, but its getting difficult and difficult. The mistakes i'm making are too big and too frequent. As i always say, i can never learn.

But guess what! I'm happy! Isn't that what matters. Just be selfish and make yourself happy even if you have to screw the world for it. 

So, Happy 22nd to me! 

Let it out, you guys!

Yes. How? Pliss to tell. 

Snap out of it!

Because Coldplay is love. 

I feel like deleting my last 4 posts. Such a waste! In fact, i want to delete this whole blog. What a waste, again. Whenever i want self pity, i come here. He he. I somehow feel like giggling at this statement.

I'm such a giggle whore these days. I start giggling for no apparent reason.
Because laughing is better than crying, yes? No? Okay go!


So. Nobody's interested what happened 10 days back. Right? Okay. I wont say anything too. Because it doesn't matte now. 
I have this weird type of feeling, a relieved feeling. Something like a burden was lifted off my chest. A burden to make the *thing* work no matter what. A burden to not give up despite all the tears. But its over now, no more burden. So, wheeeee. ^.^


I thought i wanted somebody/something to come and fix me. But you can't wait for somebody to come and fix you/your problems. You just have to look them in the face and smile at them and say "Bring it on, bitch!"


This isn't happiness, but maybe it is. 


Everyone is on Tumblr now? Okay, thanks. Whatever. 
The only reason the text is yellow because its such a happy color. Haina? I think of yellow and i just wanna smile.

Whatever you do, never give up.

Oh well, i want to sleep! But this stupid assignment! Grr .. And i'm not even doing it. I'm just staring at my FB's homepage and wondering out of those 300 some friends, who do i talk to now? Or, who do i like talking to now? I'm just a sulky kid these days. 

If you see someone sitting all alone in a corner and staring into nothingness, don't feel bad. That's just me, being me. 

What irritates me the most is that i was never like this. I was always surrounded by people. ALWAYS! I know i keep telling myself and others for that matter that i like being alone. But that's not the case. I have no choice except, to be alone. Everyone finds friends when they go to a new place, but i dint. Not because i don't know how to make friends, but because i don't know which people to choose. [Yes, i'm choosy]

You know when your best friend crosses that thin line and you just don't know what to do about it? Yes, that! I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm convinced she is wrong, and she's convinced i'm wrong. Who the fuck is right then! I don't want to give up, but secretly i have. I tried being the bigger person but it doesn't help these days, i think.

New set of friends please. And change of place too please. 

Also, we have this huge presentation that everyone dreads. And guess whose the first one to present it! ME! The whole fucking world is conspiring against me. 

I know world you don't like me, so leave me alone! Moron.

A Glimmer of Hope.

What happens when you come back to your senses? 

What happens when you take an important decision without even thinking once properly about it?

What happens when all you need is one chance to go back in time and do it all over again, differently?

What happens when you don't know what to do next?

What happens when the world abandons you, doesn't understand you?

What happens when the clock stands still?

If only somebody had an answer to all these questions. Life is not simple and we don't do anything to make it simple either. All we do everyday is complicate it. And when it goes out of hands, we just sit there and regret. We give up on everything so easily because we don't want to face the consequences. Giving up seems simple, but it complicates the whole process in the end. 

I gave up on something so close to my heart that i'm literally dying inside. I don't expect people to understand my pain, they have their own pains to deal with. I just want them to tell me that everything will be alright, even if it'll never be. I'd like to believe in the saying "there's light at the end of the tunnel". Though, i know that light is just the approaching train, or in my case, shattered dreams. 

I want it back. No matter what everyone says. Because living without it, will be like living alone.

I want to be Alone and not feel Lonely.

I don't know whats more scary, the hurt or the not feeling a thing part. Its hurting so much right now that i can't feel a thing. How does one survive all this? All i wanna do right now is run away and hide (switching off the phone is the hiding part for me right now). A very little part inside me has died. It was an important part, which helped me survive and face everything. 

The numb-ness wont go away anytime soon. 

Everybody leaves. They come, makes me feel special and just leave me with broken pieces which i can never put together. Its not their fault also. I don't learn from my mistakes. I keep on making the same mistake again and again. And i'm pretty sure i'll make this mistake again. 

That heart shaped bubble just bursted without any prior notice leaving me in the middle of no where. I thought you were my forever. But you left me for forever. 

  

" I couldn't stay away,

I couldn't fight it.

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead. "

Heart Shaped Bubble.

So who had the best 1 month of her life? Me me me meeeee!

I don't think i have smiled soo much. *touchwood* And cared about someone soo much. [And many things which i can't mention here]. Because i found someone who cares for me.  Someone to love.

I'm living in a heart shaped bubble. ♥

And i love my bubble. Because its pretty and purple. 

Meaningless Everything.

With a lot of contemplation, i finally decided to post something, anything. Because i have so much to say, but i chose not to.

When you take a decision, you need to give an explanation, i chose not to.

I don't expect people to understand, when i'm not convinced myself. So i just keep shut. 

Because, Silence is good. Silence is everything. 

I want to ignore the fairy world that i was living in and live in the real world for once. And enjoy it. 

Told you it doesn't feel real. Because it was fucking not! What is done is done. Still, every day i sit and think what if... Beyond this, i don't wanna say anything. 

Also, one day i'm gonna quit all the networking sites. First in line will be Twitter for sure. :D

Go Techno. (Not)

Is the latest technology helping you in any way? If yes, pliss to leave this blog right this moment. 

Yes, i have something against technology. I'm not saying its useless, but this technology is only screwing with my brain and nothing more. i waste my time on stupid things. Things which actually don't matter. 

Silly example: How is watching back to back episode of a sitcom (read- Dexter, Grey's Anatomy and the likes) will help your brain to develop? It is technology, right? 

AND, how can you forget your most priced possession... Cellphone! Bleh! I know i just *might* not be able to live without it, but i hate it these days. Because all i do is, keep staring at the screen. Keep staring at that "D" to turn into an "R" [ only BB people will understand :P ]. I just wanna switch it off and hide it somewhere, out of reach.

Every day i get up and tell myself that if today i dont get a message i won't bother. I will go on living my life like people, from whom i'm expecting a message, are living. But it is so fucking hard! Also, me being the silly me, can't even ignore a message. So from there the staring at the screen starts. I'm not kidding when i say i keep on staring at the screen. Its true. I'm a little creepy like that.

Do my posts bore you? Stupid question. Nobody even knows this blog exists. I'm happy about it though.
I can rant and rant AND rant without a care in the world. And then laugh at my own posts, because they automatically turn out to be funny when posted. Maybe somethings wrong with the 'publish post' option. *checks if there is any option mentioning make posts funny and stupid after pressing this*

Did i tell you i have summer plans. It'll be epic! Wait a month or two and i'll tell you all about it. :D

 

I say. I regret. I fuck up.

Everywhere i look, there's food. Really. Like right now also I’m watching some random show and they are eating burger. The whole world is conspiring against me. Can't a girl follow a simple diet for a week without getting conspired against? :'/

So, it’s the Day 2 of my diet and i already miss the real food. 5 more days to go dear stomach. I know you must be thinking that i must be overweight or obese and shit. I'm not! Neither do i like dieting. In fact this is the first time I’m trying something like this. I'm doing all this because i need to be forced into eating something remotely healthy. Yes I’m a junkie, which obviously here means, a person who loves eating junk all the fucking time. 

Anyone wanna ask me how my day was? It was shit! Like real shit! I think i fucked up one person’s day. If anyone wanna screw up there awesome day, please contact me. Please ask me how? Oh, because I love acting juvenile. A person says something and I have a habit of over-reacting. Though, I’m right mostly. But why the over-reaction! Why can’t I let things be? I think I don’t deserve to be in contact with humans.

I don’t deserve the attention I’m getting. I’m not good enough. All I do these days is over-react. How are you guys even bearing all the nonsense that I’m throwing at you!

Also, I need to grow up. As soon as possible. Somebody please teach me how to act all grown up. :(

How We Met Barney

I think it is becoming a trend of me posting every 20 days. Not good. 

So how was your Valentine? Mine was awesome! Awesome logo ka awesome hi hoga na. :P

It was awesome for a very non-love reason. A friend and I rescued a puppy. We found him on the road. And we instantly fell in love with him. The first thing that came into my mind when i saw him was "I'm taking him home" And yes i brought him home. And we named him Barney. ^-^

Meet Barney :D

Isn't he the cutest dog ever! I'm in love. He is my Valentine. 

Ping!

Hello. Long time no see. Look at you, all grown up and all. 

Okay stop judging me by my opening sentence. Its been 20 days since my last post! *acts all dramatic*

From the past few days i have been meaning to right, but was just to lazy to switch on the laptop. Yes, i'm that lazy. Sometimes i don't even feel like changing the channel, because it takes too much of an effort to pick up the remote and change the channel. So i just keep staring at the TV and thinking. (Not about pretty boys, you idiot)


I recently got a Blackberry. I know what all you non-blackberry people must be thinking, "college students don't need a blackberry, so stop showing off!" Its true, college students don't, but i dint buy it because i get those all important mails and shit (in fact i hardly get any mails, except those MBA colleges who still think i'm interested in doing MBA), i got it for the BBM. And trust me when i say, my phone hasn't stopped ping-ing ever since! There are times when i just feel like turning off my phone (i'm stressing on 'sometimes' here). But if somebody asks me to give an award or something, i will give it to Blackberry. Best past-time ever!


There's this song stuck in my head from the past few days. You know, there are some songs which make perfect sense and you can relate to them. This is one of those songs. 


He's there in the dark
He's there in my heart
He waits in the winds
He's gonna play a part.
Trouble is a friend, yeah, trouble is a friend of mine.
So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm
I wont let him win, but i'm a sucker for his charm
Trouble is a friend, yeah, trouble is a friend of mine.


Ahh i can keep on humming these lines all day. Because trouble is actually a very good friend of mine. We've been best friends since i don't know how long. Never leaves me alone or let me be. Trouble loves me so very much, you see.


Okay now go listen to this song. Trouble is a friend- Lenka :D

I love my Crap.

I woke up. Saw myself in the mirror. Got bored. Went to bed again. And slept. Got up again. Saw myself in the mirror again. First thing that came to my mind, "I so need a haircut!!"

Yes this is how the day started today. And i actually went and got myself a haircut. I'm cool like that. I think, by far, this has been the most random-est thing i did in 2011. I love doing stupid random stuff when i'm bored. They are so stupid that i find myself laughing at myself only. But my hair looks so much better. I like i like.

Oh this reminds me, happy 2011!! Why am i wishing here, you see the thing is i'm that kind of a person who usually doesn't wish Happy New Year or Happy Diwali or anything for that matter to anyone. I think its too much of an effort. Who will pick up the phone and wish, right? And also what is so good about this new year haan?! If you want the new year to be better, be a better person yourself. Everything will change. "Be the change you want to see in other people."

[Free ka gyaan but raha hai, le lo] ^-^

Fyi, my hands are freezing. My pinkie finger is numb. :(

Till yesterday i had no new year's resolution. But today i have one. Yayyy to that. I can join the cool gang now. (Because cool people haz new year resolutions) So, my new year resolution- Stop being so emotional about every damn thing and stop giving a fuck about people. Also i want to be selfish. Very selfish. Because selfish people are successful. No really, look around you and you will find out. And i'm so damn sure i won't stick to this resolution. When have i ever stick to my words? Just tell me, when!

Also,  i want to live in a fashion cupboard this year.

So what is your resolution, not so cool people? Okay, i'm not interested, don't bother telling. Because you see i get bored so easily. 

You know what, i have this weird thing in my head that people are ignoring me. No seriously. Its a stupid thing i know. But what to do, people are ignoring me. But i don't care. Bola na i would stop giving a fuck about people. My niceness is way too nice for them. (It dint make sense na??)


I think i write crap. But i love my crap. :D

I'm gonna go and sit in front of the heaterzz. Because i cant feel my bones.