Leave Me Alone! ... Or Maybe Not!

I like staying alone! When i'm alone i don't have to pretend being happy when i'm actually not. Its much more fun this way. But this obviously doesn't mean that i'm a loner. I'm so not! But sometimes i wish i could just sit in a corner and stare at people without them noticing me. I like judging people, whereas i obviously hate when somebody judges me. I hate being all flamboyant when it comes to socializing. Why can't i ignore everyone around me and just talk to people i really care about or for that matter like. Its actually absurd that when you enter a party or for that matter even your own class, you have to go and meet everyone and be all goody-goody. It seems so phony and unreal. I actually detest people who are all over friendly and amicable. Pretentious asses! 
But then who wants to be alone in this world, isn't it! If my friends leave me alone for 10 mins, i often find myself feeling sad and lonely. And also i don't like when they ignore me (which they obviously don't). I sometimes wish i had more friends and i was invited to more parties. I don't mind the attention you see. :P So basically what i want is Attention, even if i'm getting that from two-three people. No wait, what i really want more than this is to be Center of Somebody's World! Yesss i want that! But unfortunately i don't have that special someone in my life :( Maybe that's why i like being left alone once in a while, so that i could think what it would feel like to be somebody's special someone! *sigh*
Not too much to ask, isn't it!