Little bit of me.

I met this very interesting person yesterday. I was a bit skeptical before i was supposed to meet her. But it turned out okay. I guess.

This person told me so much about me that i dint know anybody could figure out without talking to me first (because i'm so twisted and messed up in head). 

So i thought i should maybe list out the things she told me (which are true) in case i forget about those things in future.

1. Strong family values.

2. Best friends are my worst enemies. (TRUE)

3. Very loyal and very emotional.

4. Never show whats killing inside me and just put on a happy face. (so true)

5. Great sex life. (She said it, i swear!)

6. If i'm emotionally attached to someone i'll over look the 100 mistakes that the person has committed and just look at the 1 good thing he/she did. (Again, true. Told you i'm messed up in head)

These are some of the important things that she said. The only reason i'm surprised is i dint even talk to her and she started saying all this on her own. Pretty impressive, right?

22 on 22.

The mandatory post birthday post. Btw the birthday was 4 days back. 

That phase is here when i don't feel like writing but at the same time i want to. 

Birthday was as usual. A year older, but not wiser. Hehe.

Soo much have changed in this past one year. I have experienced soo much that i would like to think it cannot get any better/worse. I also want to learn from my mistakes, but its getting difficult and difficult. The mistakes i'm making are too big and too frequent. As i always say, i can never learn.

But guess what! I'm happy! Isn't that what matters. Just be selfish and make yourself happy even if you have to screw the world for it. 

So, Happy 22nd to me! 

Let it out, you guys!

Yes. How? Pliss to tell. 

Snap out of it!

Because Coldplay is love. 

I feel like deleting my last 4 posts. Such a waste! In fact, i want to delete this whole blog. What a waste, again. Whenever i want self pity, i come here. He he. I somehow feel like giggling at this statement.

I'm such a giggle whore these days. I start giggling for no apparent reason.
Because laughing is better than crying, yes? No? Okay go!


So. Nobody's interested what happened 10 days back. Right? Okay. I wont say anything too. Because it doesn't matte now. 
I have this weird type of feeling, a relieved feeling. Something like a burden was lifted off my chest. A burden to make the *thing* work no matter what. A burden to not give up despite all the tears. But its over now, no more burden. So, wheeeee. ^.^


I thought i wanted somebody/something to come and fix me. But you can't wait for somebody to come and fix you/your problems. You just have to look them in the face and smile at them and say "Bring it on, bitch!"


This isn't happiness, but maybe it is. 


Everyone is on Tumblr now? Okay, thanks. Whatever. 
The only reason the text is yellow because its such a happy color. Haina? I think of yellow and i just wanna smile.

Whatever you do, never give up.

Oh well, i want to sleep! But this stupid assignment! Grr .. And i'm not even doing it. I'm just staring at my FB's homepage and wondering out of those 300 some friends, who do i talk to now? Or, who do i like talking to now? I'm just a sulky kid these days. 

If you see someone sitting all alone in a corner and staring into nothingness, don't feel bad. That's just me, being me. 

What irritates me the most is that i was never like this. I was always surrounded by people. ALWAYS! I know i keep telling myself and others for that matter that i like being alone. But that's not the case. I have no choice except, to be alone. Everyone finds friends when they go to a new place, but i dint. Not because i don't know how to make friends, but because i don't know which people to choose. [Yes, i'm choosy]

You know when your best friend crosses that thin line and you just don't know what to do about it? Yes, that! I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm convinced she is wrong, and she's convinced i'm wrong. Who the fuck is right then! I don't want to give up, but secretly i have. I tried being the bigger person but it doesn't help these days, i think.

New set of friends please. And change of place too please. 

Also, we have this huge presentation that everyone dreads. And guess whose the first one to present it! ME! The whole fucking world is conspiring against me. 

I know world you don't like me, so leave me alone! Moron.

A Glimmer of Hope.

What happens when you come back to your senses? 

What happens when you take an important decision without even thinking once properly about it?

What happens when all you need is one chance to go back in time and do it all over again, differently?

What happens when you don't know what to do next?

What happens when the world abandons you, doesn't understand you?

What happens when the clock stands still?

If only somebody had an answer to all these questions. Life is not simple and we don't do anything to make it simple either. All we do everyday is complicate it. And when it goes out of hands, we just sit there and regret. We give up on everything so easily because we don't want to face the consequences. Giving up seems simple, but it complicates the whole process in the end. 

I gave up on something so close to my heart that i'm literally dying inside. I don't expect people to understand my pain, they have their own pains to deal with. I just want them to tell me that everything will be alright, even if it'll never be. I'd like to believe in the saying "there's light at the end of the tunnel". Though, i know that light is just the approaching train, or in my case, shattered dreams. 

I want it back. No matter what everyone says. Because living without it, will be like living alone.

I want to be Alone and not feel Lonely.

I don't know whats more scary, the hurt or the not feeling a thing part. Its hurting so much right now that i can't feel a thing. How does one survive all this? All i wanna do right now is run away and hide (switching off the phone is the hiding part for me right now). A very little part inside me has died. It was an important part, which helped me survive and face everything. 

The numb-ness wont go away anytime soon. 

Everybody leaves. They come, makes me feel special and just leave me with broken pieces which i can never put together. Its not their fault also. I don't learn from my mistakes. I keep on making the same mistake again and again. And i'm pretty sure i'll make this mistake again. 

That heart shaped bubble just bursted without any prior notice leaving me in the middle of no where. I thought you were my forever. But you left me for forever. 

  

" I couldn't stay away,

I couldn't fight it.

Sometimes it lasts in love,

But sometimes it hurts instead. "

Heart Shaped Bubble.

So who had the best 1 month of her life? Me me me meeeee!

I don't think i have smiled soo much. *touchwood* And cared about someone soo much. [And many things which i can't mention here]. Because i found someone who cares for me.  Someone to love.

I'm living in a heart shaped bubble. ♥

And i love my bubble. Because its pretty and purple.